Hey, Stevie - Vol 2

It has been a while since I did a "Hey, Stevie" post.  Miss A still is in LOVE with Steve and he tolerates her affection about 90% of the time.  And when he get annoyed with her, well.... most of the time she probably had it coming.  :)

 A Bears headband and bracelets as earrings.  Stylish.

 "Stevie, are you cold?"

 I did not buy this shirt....  But, I am ok with her wearing it because she still knows to cheer for the correct team.  Go Mavs!  Go Dirk!

 Froggy panties.

 Steve likes to visit the farm.

 And watch Bob and Larry DVD's.

 Sunglasses are always a popular accessory.

 "Hey Stevie, want to check your email?"

He looks like he is wearing a bowtie.... it is a headband.

"Hey Stevie, look... it lights up!" 

A Mother's Prayer for Her Child

Nada. That is what I have for you right now. So, instead of posting something stupid, I am going to post Tina Fey's prayer for her daughter. Even if you dont have children you will find this amusing.

"A Mother's Prayer for Her Child" by Tina Fey

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half and stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, for childhood is short – a Tiger Flower Blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long, and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers and the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a bitch in front of Hollister, give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, for I will not have that shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.”
-Tina Fey

Ho Ho Ho!

I had been worried that we were going to encounter some Santa anxiety with Miss A this Christmas. I mean, he is a big bearded fellow dressed in a red velvet suit that carries around a huge bag full of stuff and comes sneaking into your house in the middle of the night. You are then supposed to go sit on his lap, smile and talk to him. Most of the time toddlers end up screaming and trying to get away from him as fast as possible. All while the mom and dad are trying to document this wonderful occasion.

So, I purchased a bunch of Santa paraphernalia and we talk about the big guy all the time. Books, plates, socks, ornaments, stuffed Santa and even a metal garden stake..... we are on Santa overload at this house. She can now recognize Santa from a mile away. Every single time she sees a Santa, she greets him with a happy "ho ho ho!" I would say that I had been successful.

So successful that last night when we were at dinner Miss A thought that Santa had made an early visit to Dallas and was eating dinner at the table next to her. As soon as this gentleman and his family were seated, Miss A goes "oh, ho ho ho!!"

And I have to say, he did look an awful lot like Mr. Claus. So, if you are a big man with a white beard - beware..... My daughter will think you are Santa.

Weekend in Little Rock

Last weekend I packed my bags and headed up to Little Rock, AR to spend the weekend with one of my best girlfriends. We met years and years ago in the hallway outside our college math class. I was wearing pink suede loafers and we started talking about those shoes... We have been best friends since that day. She was an ideal student and I was the best friend that borrowed her study guides and reviewed the note cards she had already prepared.

We spent the weekend doing absolutely nothing. And it was wonderful. We watched movies (The September Issue and Up In The Air).... We did conditioning hair treatments.... and we drank wine.

Actually, we drank wine out of her wedding crystal out on her patio while eating pizza and salad.

And that is something you can only do with someone with whom a friendship was formed over pink suede shoes.

Crazy Mad Skillz

My husband is a sucker for new tv shows. And I am a sucker for Food Network shoes. So, when you combine the two you get the new game show - Minute to Win It hosted by Guy Fieri. It is one of those shows than you can have on in the background while doing other things like cooking dinner or cleaning up from dinner.

The object of the show is to complete a series of "drunken college dares" each within a minute. The more you complete, the more money you win. There is this one where you have to balance 5 coke cans on their side. They each have to stay that way for 5 seconds. The cans each start off full of soda... you have to figure out how much to drink in order to get the can to balance. I felt pretty confident that I could do that.

Bam! I tried it this morning. Crazy mad skillz.

Jake's 1st Walk

No way.

Not gonna happen.

I don't wanna.

You can't make me.

Please don't.

Aw..... no!!!

Ah.....Much better.

Problem Solved

What do you do when you have a puppy that is whimpering to be held, yet you are busy cooking dinner and tending to your toddler?

You put him your baby sling!

We need a bigger bed

Have you ever been to that point … right before you fall asleep… right before you nod off… only to have your entire body make a sudden jerky movement and BAM! You are wide awake. You maybe have that sensation of falling… or that you are being hit and you and trying to get away. It is annoying – right?

Think about how annoying it would be if someone else thought you were falling. That’s right. Someone else thinks YOU are falling. For the past couple weeks Mr. will grab me in the middle of the night “because he thinks I am falling off the bed.” At first I thought it was a one time occurrence – he was having a crazy dream or something and in that dream I was falling off the bed so he was trying to save me. But no... it happens almost every other night.

But when that same “dream” occurs almost every night it gets pretty annoying. And when this “dream” also involves him rolling over and smacking me with both arms in the middle of the night? Equally annoying.

I have started to smack him back and he always mumbles something in his sleep… most of the time it is about me falling off the bed. He never remembers any of this the next morning and he thinks I am making all of it up.

**Let me just say, I have never fallen off the bed. Well, except that one time in college… but that was due to one too many lemon drop shots and having my bed perched on top of my dresser and desk. 8 feet off the ground. With no railings. The person that thought it would be a good idea to give college students lofted beds had obviously also had one too many lemon drop shots.***

Maybe this is his way of taking some aggression out on me? Maybe he is trying to save me from falling?

Any dream analysts out there?

Heidi and Ann

Ah...... my girl crush and one of my favorite stores have teamed up!

HEIDI AND ANN

I love Heidi Klum. She is number 1 on my list of celebs I would like to be friends with. She has super adorable kiddos, is funny, has a killer accent, a rockin' body and seems like a really fun person. This may seem like an unlikely pairing, but Ann Taylor has really stepped up their game lately. No longer are they the store for boring twinsets, but they are rocking some pretty great stuff. Mainly, I am in love with the shoes. I love all of them.

Do you have a girl crush?

Christmas Card Pictures

Yesterday we had attempt #1 at our Christmas card pictures.

I say #1 because there will be a #2 in a couple of weeks. The outfits were picked out. The location was chosen and the girl WOULD NOT SMILE!

I really wanted to take some fun pictures downtown, hopefully getting one great family shot for our Christmas cards, but out of the 235 pictures that were taken we had ZERO with the little girl smiling. This is extremely rare for her, since she is always happy and smiling.

Looking back on yesterday - what in the world was I thinking??? Her 5th tooth is coming in. She had a runny nose. We were taking the pictures late in the afternoon. It was HOT and she was in a sweater. Any one of those factors would have made for a blah photo session, much less all of them.

At least we found some great locations. And I know that our outfits look good together.

Ouch...

I am lucky that I did not go into labor this afternoon.

I was at the spa this afternoon for my wax appointment and for a brief moment I thought I might just have had the baby right then and there. With every rip of my skin/hair, I began to sweat more and more and all I could think was that she is only half done. Lucky for me, the aesthetician was very complimentary of my high pain tolerance and said that the hospital would very much appreciate what I was doing and other pregnant women cannot handle this pain. (If you can't handle a bikini wax, then how can you handle labor???)

Maybe the saying should change from "sweating like a whore in church" to "sweating like a 9 month pregnant lady getting a bikini wax."

Trashy, Tacky, and Trashy

Pregnancy Piercings.

Who in the world would want to purchase one of the awful things? I saw an ad for these in a magazine and just had to share.

My favorite is sweetness. Classy.

I guess this does it for some guys…..

Last night, MM and I were having a great time at Starbucks, talking about everything from work to jewelry to pregnancy… until the creepy dude next to us started listening to our conversation. He then became obsessed with my pregnancy… wanting to know everything about these past couple months. Some of the best lines were:

- “So, do you just eat a ton?”
- “Do you drink, like do shots drink?”
- “Do you smoke? I have friends who are super smart and their moms smoked all the time when they were pregnant.”
- “How can you not find out the sex? You can do that?”
- “What do you think you are going to have? I think it is a boy.”
- “Like, you could have the baby right here in Starbucks”
- “Come March, I am going to think about the chick that I met in Starbucks and wonder how she is doing…”
- “The doctor said the head is where?”

I am surprised that he did not reach out and touch my stomach. Maybe be had a fetish for knocked up girls. Or maybe he was just feeling guilty because he said that he had to fire a pregnant woman at work the next day. Either way – creepy, yet slightly flattering and funny!

25 Things

1. I sometimes add things to my to-do list just so I can cross them off.


2. I hate to give gift cards as gifts, but sometimes there is no other option.


3. It drives me crazy when people do not know how to properly use me/I and they’re/there/their. I correct them in my head… and sometimes out loud.


4. I can fall asleep almost anywhere, but when I am going to bed I want it to be completely dark.


5. I even went as far as covering up the lights on serge protectors in my dorm room.


6. One of my best friends was at the hospital the day I was born. I was in her wedding on my 21st birthday and there is a possibility Baby M will be born on her daughter’s birthday.


7. I worked at a tanning salon in college and was flashed by some freak my first day on the job…. The cops wanted to know if he had any distinguishing characteristics.


8. As a result of this job, I looked like a brown kangaroo freak.


9. I have formed a best friendship with someone over shoes. Pink suede loafers to be exact.


10. I can spend hours out in the sun working on my tan.


11. Because of 7, 8, and 10 I already use anti wrinkle cream.


12. I wanted to come home from college every day my freshman year.... my parents told me they would not pick me up from the airport. I stayed and ended up loving it.


13. I accidentally drank my friend’s husband’s contacts. There is a good explanation for this – bachelorette party.


14. I did some things in college that I could have been kicked out of school for.


15. I have always wanted twin boys. Maybe next time… this time, there is only 1.


16. I am deathly allergic to shellfish and once thought I was going to die in Chuy’s. (they accidentally served me shrimp tacos)


17. I met my other best friend on the first day of college. We ended up being college roomies, lived together after college and worked together. Plus, I introduced her to her now husband and she did the same for me.


18. If I could only choose 2 items of makeup for the rest of my life, I would choose mascara and lipgloss. And concealer. So, make that 3 items.


19. When the baby is born, I do not want pictures taken unless I have on mascara, lip gloss and concealer.


20. I am obsessed with my hair and will purchase almost product that promises to give me sleek, shiny and luxurious locks.


21. The year after I got married I cut off a total of 15 inches from my hair. I donated it to Locks of Love, but I am ready for it to be long again.


22. I once had a hard core addiction to Diet Coke, but then I gave it up because it gave me awful heart burn. I was clean and sober for about 3 years. I am back on the wagon and I love it.


23. I decide whether or not I like a celebrity by their fun factor. Would they be fun to share a pitcher of margaritas with? The leaders of this list are Jen Aniston, Heidi Klum, Neil Patrick Harris and Justin Timberlake.


24. I think I could go all winter without ever turning on the heat in our house.


25. I cannot tell you the dates things occurred, but I can always tell you what I was wearing.

I tag anyone that wants to divulge 25 things.

Get the sensation!

Don't these peppermint shot glasses look like fun for a holiday party?

I can imagine how good they would be with a Peppermint Patty Shot inside them!

Recipe:

1/2 oz crème de cacao
1/2 oz peppermint schnapps
1 oz cream

(No alcohol was consumed in preparation of this post....)

Have you ever?

Washed your pants on a Sunday night, hung them to dry, and then come Tuesday morning when you put them on realize they are still damp? But, it is too late to do anything about it because you are already walking out the door for work?

Oh yes.. I am wearing pants that have a damp butt and waist.

Halloween Costume

I think this will be a perfect costume for us this year!

It's on PEREZ HILTON!

I emailed Perez the picture I posted this morning and now it is on his site!

Perez Hilton - Separated at Birth - 10/02/08

It would have been cool to have been given a shout out, but beggars can't be choosers.

Separated at Birth

Is it just me (or the picture) or does Perez Hilton look a lot like Spencer Pratt??

UPDATE -- I just emailed Perez the side-by-side comparison.... We'll see if his people respond.

Blue the Wonder Dog

This past weekend my brother was in town to help my parents move and with him he brought along his 2 dogs - Blue and Lyra. Blue is the most adventurous dog I have ever seen. He goes cliff jumping with my brother, loves to swim and loves to climb trees. Yes, climb trees.